Big Brother - Season 11, Episode 23 Recap

When we left Thursday night’s episode of Big Brother, the remaining HG’s (except for Jeff) were slip-sliding across the set filling giant bowls with hot chocolate. Tonight we get to see who won the competition, the winner’s nominations, and a twist involving a key that Julie promised could be “game changing”. Of course, every thing that happens on Big Brother is advertised as “game changing”.

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Sorry, Andy Rooney was just on 60 Minutes, and I dozed off listening to his inane rant about people carrying backpacks. How does this man still have a gig?

Thankfully, the Sunday episode of BB has finally commenced with the beginning of Thursday’s HOH competition. Kevin immediately takes a tumble, and babbles about how it’s one “slippery graham cracker”. Natalie notices the cups have a hole in them, and informs Kevin of this fact. We then see footage of everybody taking a tumble, and Jeff says that he’s hoping for a victory from Jordan even though he has agreements from everybody. “According to everybody, I’m 100% safe.” Yeah, we’ll see about that.

Kevin says that this is his time to win because he hasn’t won “jack” yet, and both him, Michelle, and Natalie say if they don’t win they’ll be going home. Michelle adds that it’s especially important to her, as her biggest ally has just been evicted.

Of course, this brings up the footage of Russell’s eviction, and Natalie gloats that Jeff did their dirty work. Sad, but true. Michelle adds that his leaving brought on mixed emotions, and that without him it may “be game over for me”. Jeff adds that he “applauds” Russell for leaving on a classy note. Kevin gloats, but for some reason we have to see Jordan complain that her pits stink. Oh boy. Both her and Jeff also gloat about Russell’s departure. You really shouldn’t, you silly gooses.

Back to the game…and the introduction of “chocolate rain” on the contestants. Jordan stumbles over the word “slippery-er”. Kevin babbles about “consistency and rhythm”, and sure enough, he jumps to an early lead as we see Natalie stumble. Jeff adds that Jordan began at a good pace, but tired quickly and started slipping and sliding. Cue a montage of Jordan falling, and Jeff’s laughter. At one point, she falls right on her implants, and Jeff asks if she “popped a boob”.

Ok, so I’m getting bored with this footage. Kevin’s still in the lead, with Michelle right behind her and the other two falling all over the place. Michelle babbles that she just HAS to surpass Kevin. And we get even more footage of people falling…this time Natalie. She notes that with him so far ahead there’s no need for her to really try hard. At one point, she even drops her cup into the vat, which Jeff says made him lose some respect for her. Kevin’s not too happy about this fact. Please, can we get to the end?

I’m just going to jump to the end. Kevin has his vat filled, but has trouble getting the “marshmallow” out. Finally, he leans in and picks it up with his mouth. There’s a joke there, but I’ll refrain. Both Kevin and Natalie are “ecstatic”, and Jeff hopes they live up to their word. Michelle, though, is devastated to lose this “crucial” competition, and says she must refrain from crying. Too bad she doesn’t succeed at this goal. Will they show that?

After commercials, we see Natalie and Kevin celebrating…along with Kevin talking about putting up Jeff in “order to assure my security in this game”. Michelle wanders in and out of the room, and they both think about how good Michelle is at memory games. “She is smart, dude”, says Natalie.

Michelle wanders into another room, and does indeed break down in tears. Cue the piano music! In the diary room, she complains how she doesn’t have anybody to talk to…and breaks down again in there. “It’s just a game”, she mutters over and over. “It’s just a fucking game.”

Next up is the unveiling of the HOH…and yes, Kevin is excited. They all throw out compliments about Kevin’s boyfriend (husband?), and he says they need to back off. Of course, the letter from him is a tear-jerker. I really do hate this segment no matter who is the recipient.

Back to the game…oh wait, more fluff. Jordan is telling Natalie about her home life. She’s adorable, but again this is nothing but filler. BTW, is it just me or does Jordan’s diary room conversations and wide-eyed look make her look that much more younger and dumber?

Finally, we’re back to the game…or are we? Jordan and Natalie are now talking about their nails, and Natalie says that she hopes Kevin sticks to the plan. Yeah, he is…your plan. Jordan says she has a feeling that she’s going home, and Natalie says that’s not going to happen. Natalie does admit that it’s a good possibility that Jordan and Michelle will be the two put up. Jeff wanders in just as we hear Natalie say in the diary room about Kevin doing her dirty work so she has “no blood on her hands”.

At that moment, Natalie is called into the diary room, and Jordan fills her in on the conversation. “I have a feeling he might put me and Michelle up and backdoor you.” Jeff says Kevin better not break his word, and that he’s not supposed to go up at all…even if the veto is used.

After commercials, we have more filler as Jordan doesn’t know her fruit. Yes, they’re arguing about peaches and nectarine. Jordan finally asks Natalie to defend what she’s saying, but again the silly southern girl is wrong.

The next filler material is about a dragonfly buzzing around the pool, and Natalie going nuts as Kevin hunts it. Natalie tells us in the diary room how she’s afraid of bugs. Hmmm, how can somebody so afraid of showers be also afraid of bugs? Ugh.

Now Kevin is talking to Michelle how he wants to talk to everybody to “see where their head is”. She kind of blows him off, and says she’ll understand any decision he makes. Natalie walks in, and they talk about how it’s three to two (Jeff, Jordan). This disintegrates into a bit of an argument as Natalie says if Michelle had won she’d have put up Kevin and Natalie. Ooops, Jordan is also in the room, and she asks if she should leave the room. Jeff has also walked in, and we hear in the diary room that Natalie went off on Michelle to throw off Jeff.

After Natalie walks away, Michelle breaks down again. Natalie alerts the rest of the house of this fact, and they all take their shots at her. Interesting choice of footage, CBS. Are you suddenly trying to make us all love Michelle? Jeff asks if she’s this week’s intended target, and both Natalie and Kevin say the words to make him believe this to be the case. Kevin adds some lies in the diary room that everybody would love him to give her the boot.

OMG, more filler? Now Jeff is babbling about how he loves “chicks in sweatpants”. Kevin says in the diary room that he “created” a little game show about Jeff, and of course almost all of the questions he asks does not relate to Jordan. Ok, this filler is a bit funny…especially Jordan’s silly facial reactions.

Back to gameplay - now Michelle is up in the HOH with Kevin to see “where (her) head’s at”. Kevin says he can never figure out what she’s thinking. Michelle says that the “one thing she was true about” was her relationship with Jeff and Jordan, but they were the ones who went against her. Kevin wonders in the diary room if it’s smarter to get rid of a person who is alone, or break up a duo.

Now it’s Jeff and Jordan’s turn in the HOH, and Kevin tells them not to worry. “Anything that I do is not personal”, he tells them. Jordan says if Michelle survives the week that she’s going after Kevin, and Kevin agrees that she’s a threat. Jeff adds that she never shares anything with them.

Jordan leaves the room, and Jeff stays to verify that Kevin is living up to his deal. “I fulfilled my end of the deal.” Kevin responds that he’s not going to like what he has to say, and of course he doesn’t when informed that he’s going to be nominated. Jeff wants Jordan to be put up, but Kevin is worried that he’d win HOH and Kevin would have to put up Natalie in her place. Kevin adds that Jeff is not his target, and in the diary room also says it’s a “risky move”. Nice little edit on Kevin’s “I don’t know what to do” comment immediately after Jeff’s departure.

And it’s now time for nominations, and after everybody babbling about being worried (except for Natalie) Kevin calls them into the house. Wait, after the footage we just saw, Jeff still thinks he’s not going up? Something tells me somebody screwed up the editing. The first key drawn is Natalie, followed by Jordan. Jeff and Michelle are nominated!

Kevin gives the clichéd “strategic, not personal” speech, and as we the show ends he says that he “had” to put up Jeff. “If he wins the veto, then I’m screwed.” Michelle isn’t surprised because, as we all know, she’s alone. Jordan says she feels bad for Jeff, and that she “needs” him here. Jeff is clearly pissed because he broke his word, and that he needs to “step up” his game and win the veto.

See you Tuesday for the veto competition…and the “Mystery Door”!