Thursday, April 16, 2009

Bunny Tales aka Bit o'Bunny

Of all the weird coincidences, last night I was working on updating the links area for this site and when I came across my links to Bunny's site which is no more :(

No point in linking to it because the site is not there. However I had archived the site for Bunny at her request and while it is far from perfect it does give you almost all of her comments from the previous seasons of Big Brother.

You can find the archives here:

All Bunny's thoughts for Season's Two through 10 are there. You can also find some old pages here:

Here is a portion from one of those pages Bunny wrote before Big Brother 8. Still cracks me up today!


So you've been chosen for the cast of BB8, eh? Well, there are rules (the ones from CBS) and then there are RULES (the ones from Bunny). I'll leave it up to you to decide which ones are more important to follow. (Hint: Mine.) Anyway, here they are, so start taking notes.

Rule No. 1: Wow us. If you're boring, Bunny will call attention to your total lack of entertainment value. Show us "wild." Show us "crazy." Show us private parts coated in peanut butter.

Rule No. 2: Wear something metallic or frothy, or make sure we never see you without your antenna or magic cape. We don't care if you're comfortable. We want clothing that we're willing to bid on when it hits Ebay.

Rule No. 3: No more nose-pickers. It's been done. Twice. My booger joke collection has been exhausted. If you insist on picking something, make it your butt.

Rule No. 4: Dance for us. Any kind of dancing will do (I'm partial to the Bunny Hop) but you need to look funny when you do it.

Rule No. 5: Get drunk. This is even better than dancing. The all time best entertainment is dancing WHILE drunk.

Rule No. 6: Don't talk to the camera. You can moon it, but don't talk to it.

Rule No. 7: Tell Bunny how much you love her. Leave her a carrot on the bed, or fashion her likeness out of a wash rag like they do on cruise ships. Better yet, write her a song. "Bunny, yesterday my life was filled with rain...."

Rule No. 8 : When you start to get homesick or lose a challenge or get put on a solid peanut butter diet, be a cry baby about it. We love that. The more snot, the better.

Rule No. 9: Get rid of any animals provided by BB. We don't like watching them, and we don't like watching you WITH them. It makes you compassionate, and that's not good TV. We want you to be the guy who tosses them over the fence.

Rule No. 10: If you are the resident handsome hunk, leave your shirts at home. Also, please schedule your showers for, say, noonish, when Bunny is sitting in front of her computer having lunch.

Rule No. 11: Tell your family to send fan mail to Bunny. Maybe it won't help you escape criticism entirely, but she's less inclined to tell the world about your bed-wetting problem if your mama is a pen pal. At the least, she may be able to get some insight as to which one of your family members is benefiting the most from having you locked up for three months.

Rule No. 12: Whatever you do, don't forget that Bunny is watching. Keep her entertained and happy. She's paying for 24-hour Live Feeds, you know, and that means you're going to have a lot of reimbursing to do if she doesn't get her money's worth.

Rule No. 13: Share your winnings with Bunny. It's in your contract. I promise.