Thursday, August 21, 2008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 17 Recap

It’s shaping up to be a sad, sad evening for us Big Brother fans, as those mean houseguests are all set to give the boot to America’s Princess. Yes, I’m talking about April, the prettiest girl in the house, who is bound to jump right out of reality television and onto the covers of People, Cosmo, and Maxim.
Oh, who am I kidding? This is a triumphant night, as we finally will be rid of her pale, smug face. After weeks or orchestrating almost every move in the house, yet not acknowledging any of her shenanigans, she’ll (hopefully) finally discover that America does not lover her after all. (And with Jerry also on the block, expect extremely dumb statements before the vote.)
Before we get to that, though, we have to begin the show as we always do – the reactions to Dan’s decision to not use the veto. Wow, the glimpse of the house is sort of strange tonight. Everybody looks pissed off about something. Something must have gone down in the last couple of hours.
Back to the ramifications of the veto meeting – Dan’s pretty proud of himself for bringing up the money situation, but April feels she did no wrong as she never offered him a specific amount of money. Jerry says he made no monetary offers, and is “surprised that April offered him money”. He says he’s going to stay calm since Renny has said that April is her target this week.
Drama Queen Michelle has to make a big deal how “once again, (it’s) another crazy veto meeting! Who offered Dan the money? Was it April, or was it Jerry?” She’s going to get to the bottom of this, though, and make sure that person is GONE! Ugh, I swear she didn’t get any farther in school than Jethro Bodine.
Michelle immediately starts grilling the people in the house, but for some reason begins with Renny. “Talk to him”, is her response. Keesha’s standing right next to her, so she repeats the question and gets the same response. As usual, she goes round and round, repeating herself over and over.
She moves on to Dan, and babbles about how he “called out them”. Wouldn’t it be “called them out”? Dan says he didn’t say it to expose them, which perplexes Michelle. Keesha and Memphis come in, and Keesha says she thinks that both Jerry and April offered bribes. Michelle says she saw April’s face, and the look she gave meant that it wasn’t her. Um, no, you silly twit. She was the one who did it, and thought she was going to be exposed. For somebody that’s always supposedly figuring out what’s going on in the house, she really has no clue. In the diary room, she again repeats how she thinks it was Jerry, and that he “needs to leave the game”.
Dan is now in the pool with Keesha and Memphis lounging nearby. Keesha tells them that there is “no way” she can change her vote. “I can’t have April stay”, she says in the diary room. She says she’d be an idiot to let her stay. Memphis agrees, even though he “can’t stand Jerry…people need to start assuming what’s going on, and believe what’s in front of you.”
It’s now night time, and April is now feeling sorry for herself. “I haven’t done anything. They have no reason to put me on the block. None. Zero. I haven’t done anything to them. I haven’t turned on them. Nothing, but do dishes and make cakes and give people stuff.” Now that’s an award-winning speech. For the first time ever, Ollie looks somewhat disinterested, but that quickly changes as he begins agreeing to every insane thing she says about how Dan and Michelle should welcome her presence with open arms. It’s all because Keesha’s jealous of her, she says, and “America” would look poorly at Dan if he didn’t vote for her.
In the bedroom, Ollie and April now grill Michelle about what the others are planning on doing with this eviction. “Not one person has said anything to me.” Um, they usually can’t get a word in when you’re around. Ollie tells Michelle that “keeping her here is the best for you”. Michelle agrees, especially after they say they’ll never put her up.
Ollie is now shooting baskets with Dan, and Ollie makes his case to keep April around by telling him how much they like him, and that he’s never been a target. Um, how about last week when you were so pissed about the Jessie vote? Ollie promises Dan that they won’t put him up. Hey Ollie, if you get HOH you do have to put up two people. Stop making promises you can’t keep.
Now it’s April’s turn. Ugh, what’s a repeater? She starts by asking if Jerry offered him some money, and then in turn says she’ll give him cash for his vote. He’s, as usual, non-committal, but says he’ll think about it. April suddenly does feel a little more comfortable.
After a commercial break, we get to hear from April and Ollie’s families regarding their “showmance”. Oh boy. This could be interesting if they did an honest segment, but I know this will be completely sugar-coated. After some sappy love-talk in the pool, we head to Ollie’s church in Des Moines. Yeah, we get it – he’s full of morals, principles, and integrity. Oh God, April says that Arizona has “millions of me”. Remind me to never visit.
That’s the cue to visit April’s family. Her sister “awww’s” at some of their pillow talk, and we hear how they were inseparable as kids. She does admit that April was the dominant twin, which seems pretty obvious even after just ten seconds of her sister talking. Wait, she’s attracted to Ollie because “he’s a lot like me”? Oh, and thank you for explaining what a showmance is. Sheeesh! Why don’t they show Ollie’s father the late-night footage? Now that would be great TV! Instead we get the phony marriage proposal.
Thank God that’s over. We go to the living room, and I guess it’s not a surprise that Julie’s first question is to Ollie. For some reason, though, it’s about the stupid crows. Dammit, there are better things to ask him! Oh well, it seems to cut the tension in the room a bit.
Dan is next up, and Julie congratulates him for winning the veto. Yeah, he was excited to win. We get it. Renny’s reaction to the pictures is the next question, and she breaks down again by talking about seeing her parent’s pictures. To round off this game of softball, Jerry is now asked how he handles being on slop. He babbles about having an “open mind”. Say what?
Oh wait, there’s one last question. Memphis is asked who he would bring back if he could. His answer is Brian, “just for giggles”. What about Angie? I’m sure this question will get everybody talking later tonight.
Renny is now up in the HOH, and the first question is about how she became such a serious competitor after winning HOH. Does the rest of the house underestimate her play? “I hope they have”, she answers. “I have different sides to me, but what you see in this house is the real Renny.” Like all of the HOH’s this year, she continues on long past when she should conclude her thoughts.
She’s next asked about Memphis, and she admits she’s “been wary of Memphis from day one. I really would like to see him go. I believe he thinks he has the game won already. He’s a shrewd man.”
Renny returns to the living room, and April is up first with the final speech. She babbles about how grateful she is to have met everybody, and she’ll “treasure every single moment”. Again, she copies Angie’s speech about playing for them selves.
Jerry then gets up, and says he’s enjoyed his stay in the house despite the slop. If evicted, he’ll depart with no “sorry grapes”. Again, we hear about how he always keeps his word.
Keesha begins the voting, and obviously votes to evict April. Memphis does the same, but Ollie votes against Jerry. Dan acts like he’s going to say Jerry’s name, but catches himself and votes against April. Michelle is the final vote, but as with everything she’s done in the house, it’s meaningless. She votes against April anyway.
When we return from commercials, Julie announces the decision. She handles it better than expected, although I thought she was going to trip over her stripper heels. We see a few seconds of everybody doing nothing in the house, before we begin the interview.
Julie’s first question is about her relationship with Keesha, but April claims she has “nothing bad to say” about her. “My first instinct was to trust her, but then she turned on me.” She claims to have no idea why Keesha turned on her.
Of course, we have to hear her gush about Ollie. She hopes she wasn’t evicted because the two of them isolated themselves from the rest of the house. She claims they’ll remain together after the show, and the marriage proposal was a “joke”. Again, why not show some “special” footage.
In the goodbye messages, Dan says that her ambition and relationship with Ollie hurt her. Renny tells her that she’s an “amazing woman”. Keesha babbles how they never found their “middle ground”, and Ollie promises that she’ll be his “main motivation”. He adds that when they see each other after the show he wants to know if she’ll be…his “first girlfriend”. The answer is yes. Ugh.
As you may expect, it’s now time for the HOH competition, and as predicted it’s an endurance competition. The contest is called “King of the Jungle”, and the winner is the person who lasts the longest on their “jungle vine”. Dan appears to be the smartest person here, as he’s bundled up in a jacket to protect himself from the “rain” that’s being poured on them. Dumb Michelle complains about her hair, and we then see the vines being moved.
Oooh, Julie ends the show by telling us that next week there will be a double eviction. That will be fun. Please make it Michelle! Hahahaha! We end with the sound of birds, and Ollie looks worried. The vines then begin swinging violently into the "jungle". This contest probably won't last too long.