Sunday, July 19, 2009

Big Brother - Season 11, Episode 5 Recap

Welcome, my friends, to another Sunday edition of Big Brother. If you don’t have the live feeds, you’re in store for a pretty intense episode. If you have been watching online, though, you can pretty much map out the entire episode.

Here’s what’s in store for us viewers. The angry reactions to Chima’s speech and Braden’s eviction, complete with Ronnie’s refusal to fess up to switching his vote. The house’s reaction to Ronnie’s HOH win, along with even more screaming matches. Ronnie’s entrance into the HOH house, the “Have/Have Nots” competition, plenty of Ronnie ass-kissing, culminating with Ronnie’s nominations.

Let’s see just how correct I am with tonight’s script. After the recaps, we indeed begin with Braden’s eviction. Casey is stunned that “somebody switched out”, but sometimes you “have to roll with the punches. Jordan, meanwhile, says she “wanted to cry”, while Michelle is upset that Chima is now going to know she voted against her. Lydia is pretty cocky about the situation, bragging that there are “repercussions for your actions and the words you say”.

Chima is also pretty cocky about surviving, but says she’ll “never volunteer as a pawn again”. As she goes to rub Ronnie’s arm, Jordan is asking if it was him that didn’t vote as planned. Ronnie admits that it was pretty tense, but wants the house to believe it was Michelle instead of him.

We now move on to the HOH competition, and we see Ronnie defeat Michelle with the final question. Ronnie babbles some geeky Star Wars thing that I can’t even pretend to translate here, and recreates Jessie putting the HOH chain around him. “Darth Ronnie???” Oh boy.

Jessie is also extremely happy about this - “this couldn’t have worked out better”. Jeff says he’s happy for him, but he’s still wondering the identity of the rat. Laura is also nervous because she thinks he’s “sneaky”. Casey says his gut tells him “we got played”, and that Ronnie has a master plan.

We’re now back in the house, and Chima is immediately complaining about people who voted against her. “I’m not going too name any names, but…” and then proceeds to do just that. Michelle admits that she did, and when Chima attacks her points out that others did the same. Chima explodes, complaining that she didn’t vote “with her clique”. (I’m a bit surprised that this fight was edited down so much, as it went much longer and eventually included many more people.)

Michelle and Ronnie are now in the pool room with Jeff and Jordan, and Ronnie says to not worry because “we’re in power now”. Jeff is still pissed that somebody voted against the plan. When Ronnie walks out, they all agree that it was him. Laura, in particular, describes how he orchestrated this to make them all look bad. Ronnie walks back in, and Laura immediately hugs him while they discuss the situation. Ronnie again points the finger at Michelle, and throws out the “show true colors” cliché.

He leaves again, and Laura is still 100% convinced it was Ronnie, who is now in the other room informing everybody else how pissed Jeff is currently. In the diary room, Russell is pretty impressed by Ronnie’s game. In the diary room, brags about how both sides are on his side, but that he has “big moves in store” for them.

After a commercial break, Laura is again talking about Ronnie being a “rat” and the “puppet master”. Kevin and Chima don’t seem to really care as Laura talks about how each side is going to just pick off the other as Ronnie sits pretty. Chima immediately informs Ronnie everything she said, and he again babbles Big Brother clichés.

It’s now the clichéd unveiling of Ronnie’s room, and it’s just like the other 50 or so times we’ve seen this segment. They all coo and caw over his family pictures, and pretend to care about his cat. His CD of choice? Legally Blonde. Jeff has a good laugh over that. He also received a giant bubble wand, which makes Jeff chuckle.

Wow, they kept that pretty short, as we immediately go to an outdoor shot of Ronnie interrupting a subdued crowd outside. Ronnie asks Jordan why she’s so upset, and the talk goes to the switched vote. They go through each person, and of course they all claim to have voted out Chima. Jeff complains that whomever did it should just come out and admit it. Casey isn’t quite as convinced that it’s Ronnie, saying it could just as easily be Jeff or Jordan, but Ronnie gets pissed at Casey’s reaction. “In my experience, the person going around pointing the most fingers is usually the person the most responsible…and you don’t see any of us pointing fingers.” Oh boy. Casey admits that it’s not smart to yell at the HOH, but it’s “not me”. Casey thinks he’s laying the groundwork to put him on the block.

It’s now time for the “Have/Have Nots” competition, and the winner gets to see an advance screening of the new Katherine Heigl chick flick, “The Ugly Truth“. No thanks would be my response, but the house is all (overly) excited. Yes, its’ now time for a commercial to be inserted into the telecast.

They all walk outside to a game called “Good Morning BB”, with a special host - Dan from BB10! Jessie’s not happy, but the rest of the house is. Kevin says he was “looking good”. Jessie says he’d rather watch a “porcupine walking backwards onto the set”. I have no idea what that means.

So it’s a match game-ish contest, with men answering questions about the individual women and vice versa. It’s pretty silly, so I’ll just go right to the end. Oh wait, Jordan looks pretty hot in her cowgirl costume, and Chima is pretty nasty in her comment to Jeff‘s cheerleader question (“I always knew you liked stupid girls, as you‘re not very smart yourself“. And let‘s add that I hope I never see Ronnie in a Princess Leia costumer ever again! (Note to self- screencap needed.) Casey and Chima win, and get to watch the movie together (which is apparently happening as we’re watching this telecast). Neither are obviously happy about this pairing. Thank God this ten-minute commercial is over!

But we’re not quite over yet. Chima and Casey have to decide which group will be the “have nots”, and take cold shower, eat slop, and take the bedroom nobody wants. Oh Lord, this won’t be good is Chima gets her way. Casey wants the athletes to have the room, and Chima responds “you really want to go home”. Casey asks if she’s HOH, and this goes around and around even though Casey just wants to settle it by playing “rock/paper/scissors”. Casey finally just backs down and lets her get her way.

Time for some filler. Jeff has trouble saying “bully”, and Casey makes fun of him. Really, is this segment needed? They all laugh and laugh, but it’s worthless.

Finally, we move on to some scheming. Laura again says she doesn’t trust Ronnie, but they have to try to convince him to put up the athletes. Jordan, Jeff, Casey, and Laura head up to the HOH to “remind him there are bigger fish to fry right now”. Jordan says they need to get the “hard” players up, and that they fell they’re “unstoppable”. Jeff asks why Ronnie is so scared of them, and that Russell has been saying malicious things about him. Ronnie claims that backdooring Russell is the plan, but Jeff thinks it’s ridiculous to put up TWO pawns. Hard to believe but Jordan is the voice of reason, saying it’s too early to backdoor people.

Ronnie SEEMS to be amicable to their plan, but brings the athletes up to inform them what they said. Ronnie wants insurance that Russell is not aiming for him, which of course Jessie agrees. Russell says he’s worried, but Jessie tells him he’s safe.

Finally, it’s time for the nomination ceremony. You know the drill. Ronnie looks at the wall of pictures, babbles about how this is an important move for him, and we hear from various people that are worried that they’ll be put up. Ronnie claims the question is whether he’ll “shake up the house” or play it safe? Yeah, whatever.

Everybody gathers around the table, and after a dumb speech by Ronnie about his promise to his family to “play strategically, not personally” the keys are pulled by (in order) Jordan, Casey, Lydia, Natalie, Jessie, Kevin, and Russell. Yes, Laura and Jeff are the two “pawns”.

Ronnie says that he nominated them because he has so much respect for them as people and competitors. Um, ok. Laura says she wanted to stand up and say “I told you so” but she’s not “going to lay down and die”. Jeff says he’s hurt, but admits that Ronnie is playing the game “good”. Casey says that Ronnie has shown himself to be a “liar”, and that everybody should see his true colors.

Ronnie adds that he put up Laura because she’s the only person who “could put one and one together that I switched my vote”, and that Jeff is “unfortunately, just a pawn”. He still claims that his goal is to eliminate Russell. We’ll see about that.

See you Tuesday!


HabboBoredom said...

Dan's hosting skills suck ass.

Philly Bob said...

Dan's skills may suck, but he still has a half million!

Anonymous said...

He can have 10 million dollars but it still dont mean he has hosting skills.... does money make you perfect

Anonymous said...

Way to talk Laura... bye bye